49 and Here

Submitted by Kim Tempest

First I gotta say – I am grateful for every birthday! After being diagnosed at 41 and the cancer deciding to take a scenic tour along my lymph channels to stop at few points of interest (the lymph nodes), I know that I am lucky.

Actually at the time I did not think this whole breast cancer thing was such a big deal.  I figured, just take the boob off, flood the nasty cells with a little poison and then fry any of the little persisted ones with a healthy dose of radiation. Once it was all said and done I figured, “I am walking free and clear!”

I guess I was kind of naive.  That became obvious with the post treatment discussion with the Oncologists.  They always get this grave look on their face when they talk about my cancer tourists.  Plus they seem to want to keep me on adjunct therapy.  First it was Tamoxifen for two years – which successfully shot me through menopause at light speed. Then there was the aromatase inhibitor – Arimadex (Anastrozole) for three years, which advanced the age on my bones by about five years (apparently I am unique – so don’t freak’n’peak if you are on Arimadex).  Now I am on another aromatase inhibitor as part of a double blind trial of Letrozole (also known as Femara) for another five years. Are you falling asleep with all of the pharmaceutical talk yet?

Bottom line – all of the treatment and subsequent adjunct therapy has resulted in my being pushed along the aging time line a little faster than most would find desirable.  My bones, my skin, my hair are all about 10 years beyond where they would have been if I had not had cancer.

Now:

It is much harder to maintain a youthful weight.  I am trying the Bootilicious fitness classes, but look like a complete idiot trying to keep up to dance moves, threw my back out last week – I am a freak’n disaster.

Wrinkles are appearing on every part of my body.  If it wasn’t for the weight gain puffing everything out, my skin would look like a crumpled piece of used tissue paper.  Forget the products that claim to ‘keep them guessing’ – I am thinking of resorting to plaster filler.

The vagina is like the Sahara. Side note: found this wonderful prescription product called Estring – clearly developed by a woman with painful dry-vag – it is a gift as it gave me my sex life back.

And: Grey hairs.

Now, after chemo, not much hair came back.  My head, eye brows, eye lashes and about a dozen other hairs randomly scattered around my body came back – but areas that were once youthful lush pastures of annoyance and endless electrolysis did not. But tell me what is the deal?  I did not expect the grey plumes to appear in my eye brows or my half dozen pubes!!  There are some things I am just not going to ask my hairdresser to do!

All of this said I am still very happy to celebrate 49, every wrinkle, grey hair and pound. I am here and hopefully can make you laugh about the aging process through my own experience.  I guess we have to release what was and accept what is and that is – WE ARE ALIVE & FABULOUS!

~ Kim T.