Archives for "I Found It Funny"

Posted by moderator on 10th January 2011

49 and Here

Submitted by Kim Tempest

First I gotta say – I am grateful for every birthday! After being diagnosed at 41 and the cancer deciding to take a scenic tour along my lymph channels to stop at few points of interest (the lymph nodes), I know that I am lucky.

Actually at the time I did not think this whole breast cancer thing was such a big deal.  I figured, just take the boob off, flood the nasty cells with a little poison and then fry any of the little persisted ones with a healthy dose of radiation. Once it was all said and done I figured, “I am walking free and clear!”

I guess I was kind of naive.  That became obvious with the post treatment discussion with the Oncologists.  They always get this grave look on their face when they talk about my cancer tourists.  Plus they seem to want to keep me on adjunct therapy.  First it was Tamoxifen for two years – which successfully shot me through menopause at light speed. Then there was the aromatase inhibitor – Arimadex (Anastrozole) for three years, which advanced the age on my bones by about five years (apparently I am unique – so don’t freak’n’peak if you are on Arimadex).  Now I am on another aromatase inhibitor as part of a double blind trial of Letrozole (also known as Femara) for another five years. Are you falling asleep with all of the pharmaceutical talk yet?

Bottom line – all of the treatment and subsequent adjunct therapy has resulted in my being pushed along the aging time line a little faster than most would find desirable.  My bones, my skin, my hair are all about 10 years beyond where they would have been if I had not had cancer.

Now:

It is much harder to maintain a youthful weight.  I am trying the Bootilicious fitness classes, but look like a complete idiot trying to keep up to dance moves, threw my back out last week – I am a freak’n disaster.

Wrinkles are appearing on every part of my body.  If it wasn’t for the weight gain puffing everything out, my skin would look like a crumpled piece of used tissue paper.  Forget the products that claim to ‘keep them guessing’ – I am thinking of resorting to plaster filler.

The vagina is like the Sahara. Side note: found this wonderful prescription product called Estring – clearly developed by a woman with painful dry-vag – it is a gift as it gave me my sex life back.

And: Grey hairs.

Now, after chemo, not much hair came back.  My head, eye brows, eye lashes and about a dozen other hairs randomly scattered around my body came back – but areas that were once youthful lush pastures of annoyance and endless electrolysis did not. But tell me what is the deal?  I did not expect the grey plumes to appear in my eye brows or my half dozen pubes!!  There are some things I am just not going to ask my hairdresser to do!

All of this said I am still very happy to celebrate 49, every wrinkle, grey hair and pound. I am here and hopefully can make you laugh about the aging process through my own experience.  I guess we have to release what was and accept what is and that is – WE ARE ALIVE & FABULOUS!

~ Kim T.

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Posted by moderator on 13th September 2010

Is that me in the mirror?

Random things about breast cancer that I find funny

Submitted by Kim Tempest

I made the decision to reconstruct after my mastectomy.  Before the surgeons did anything I went to meet with my plastic surgeon, as they like to combine reconstruct with the mastectomy.  I met my plastic surgeon and he went over all of the options available to me.  The two that we discussed in detail was the Tram Flap and a tissue expander followed by implant.  He showed me pictures of other women’s reconstructions.  It was like a brag book of reconstruction. They were beautiful.  A thought occurred to me that these were examples of everything going right – I wondered where the ‘not so perfect’ examples were.

The Tram Flap is a pretty big deal, as they move muscle from the torso and also fat from the tummy area.  The recovery is 6 to 12 weeks, with no heavy lifting, no exercise, no housework.  Now although the prospect of laying back in the recliner eating bonbons was very appealing, I also had a 5 year old who still liked to be picked up.  So the option I decided on was a tissue expander. The plastic surgeon said he would also reduce and lift my opposite breast so we would not have to expand as much and I would look more symmetrical.

Off to surgery day I went.

When I woke up, I lifted the sheet to look down at my very sore chest.  I don’t know what I was expecting to see – everything was bandaged up. What I did notice was that I was a lot smaller.  The right breast, of course, was flat.

Once I was recovered enough, the plastic surgeon started to ‘fill’ the expander with fluid.  The objective was to expand the chest muscle to accommodate an implant that would be representative of the size of my remaining breast.  What we did not know at the time, was I needed to have radiation, as the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes (bummer).  He expanded as quickly as he could before radiation as he knew radiation would harden the muscle and skin and would make the implant more difficult to do.  We almost got there.

I started radiation.  As the radiation came to an end I noticed that my new mound was now in the position that it started when I was around 13.  Perky is great, but this new breast was quickly becoming a chin rest.  The surgeon knew we were not going to have success with an implant.  Only one problem – I had lost so much weight from chemo I no longer had enough fat anywhere to make a breast.  This is when I really learned who my true friend were because I had offers of excess fat from most of my gal pals and family.  I was ordered to gain 20 pounds.

The next couple of months was great – I ate everything – chocolate, ice cream, burgers, fish and chips – if it wasn’t fattening it did not go into my mouth.

Once I had enough fat, I was scheduled for the surgery.  Out came the tissue expander and my new tummy fat was moved to a higher altitude. Unfortunately, the extra 20 had added to other parts of me too, so I now not only had a new boob, I was also packing around new booty in the rear.  At this point I am thinking I might be a candidate for a rap video.

At the end of radiation, I was put on Tamoxifen.  The weight gain continued.  HELLO  – IT CAN STOP NOW!! One day I caught a glimpse of myself nude in the mirror and stopped in my tracks, “Is that me in the mirror”.  I looked like my Grandmother (most wonderful woman on the planet, who loved her food).  Yikes. This was an instant motivator!  I had already stopped with the fattening foods, so now it was back to exercise. That was five years ago. I still exercise, so at least the bigger me does not jiggle as much.

What I learned is that now I am post-menopausal (thanks to Chemo) and still taking meds to stop estrogen, weight gain is easier. I also learned that my girlish form is gone – but I am not.  I live each moment with as much passion as possible and I have learned to look in the mirror and be happy with who I am.  I threw away all of my ‘skinny’ clothes.  I don’t torture myself with the hope of getting back to my smaller self.  If Hollywood icon, Marilyn Monroe can be sexy in a size 10 – so can I – it is all attitude.  Besides I know that my husband is just grateful that I am still here – no matter what my size. You know what? So am I.

P.s. My pre and post surgery pictures are tucked away in a file and not in the brag book of reconstruction.  Oh well.

~ Kim T.

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Posted by moderator on 18th August 2010

What’s so funny about breast cancer?

submitted by Lina C.

I’ll never forget that day on the school bus in grade 6 when a cute boy looked at my flat, undeveloped chest and announced in a loud voice that he had a joke that’ll “knock your tits off but I see you’ve already heard it before!” Needless to say I was totally humiliated and angry at the little jerk but how was I to know that years later I would rethink his comment as (possibly) the world’s 1st mastectomy joke?

Lina

Years later, at the age of 33, there wasn’t a lot I found funny about the bilateral breast cancer that had spread to my lymph nodes and required 2 mastectomies, many rounds of chemotherapy, radiation and multiple surgeries. But when I found myself at the cancer clinic waiting for 1 of my chemo treatments and looked down at my flat-again chest, I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the situation.

Aside from developing a penchant for completely inappropriate humour, my cancer experience woke me up to my life and my calling. More years later, after the scars had healed and it slowly dawned on me that I might have a future (touch wood), I decided to get the heck out of the corporate world and return to doing what I loved best, helping others in a personal and meaningful way versus a shuffling-paper- really-quickly kind of way.

That’s what prompted me to start carrying school books again and as I approached the completion of my master’s degree in Counselling Psychology, I discovered the Booby Innovation Grant offered by Rethink Breast Cancer. I was stoked to have an opportunity to bring my professional and personal experiences together and drafted a proposal for an employment counselling program to help young women navigate the limbo-land between breast cancer treatments and the world of work.

Well, I was lucky enough to be awarded the B.I.G. grant and the funding has enabled me to develop cedars, an employment counselling program for young women with breast cancer. Along with my personal experience of the challenges of returning to work after breast cancer, I draw on my current professional experiences working in anxiety & depression counselling, and past experiences as a human resources & recruitment specialist, and employment counsellor.

At no cost, young women with breast cancer in Canada can enroll in the program and receive up to 10 hours of individualized support that can be tailored to meet their unique needs. Assistance can include, for example, help in preparing for difficult or illegal interview questions, assistance with developing resumes and cover letters, learning how to tap into the hidden job market, exploring various career options, etc.

To enroll or for more information, check out the cedars program. Do you know a young woman who might benefit from this program? Feel free to give them my contact information!

~ Lina C.

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Posted by KimT on 1st June 2010

Second Base

Random things about breast cancer that I find funny – Second Base

Having the off the wall sense of humour that I have, means that things that typically make others cringe make me laugh out loud.  I am sure that the disclaimer for any of my blog entries should be “the thoughts and comments entered here are not endorsed or supported by BCNW (or anyone else for that matter)”.  So here we go – read at your own risk.

Not that having breast cancer is a good thing, but some good things can come out of it, like the reconstruction of the offending breast.  I had a tram flap reconstruction, which for those of you who are familiar with this process, involves moving fat from the tummy area to create a perky new breast mound. You get a nipple later. 

For the common layperson looking at me (or more specifically at my chest area) my breasts look ‘normal’ when I am dressed.  Where the difference comes in is when I am nude.  My reconstructed breast, thanks to radiation therapy, sort of looks like a cantaloupe that has been halved and stuck onto my chest, plus there is no nipple or areola.  

After my surgery and adequate healing time, I was getting cuddly with my boyfriend.  We started kissing and things generally started to heat up.  Next thing I know he is going for second base. 

When he connected with the ‘new one’ he drew back a bit in surprise, even though he knew I had been reconstructed and had no nipple yet.  I guess he did not know what to expect.  All could  I could do was laugh and say, “hey, I have the playground, I just don’t have the swing set yet”.  I then promptly redirected his attention to the old breast which was still completely intact.  Once he found it laying under my arm pit we were good to go. 

I guess the bottom line is that no matter how much you prepare your partner for the changes your reconstructed breasts have gone through, you still need to expect a reaction of some type.  Don’t take it personally – just laugh it off – or even better talk about it.

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